finally better..

Yesterday my cold got really bad.. I had a bad sore throat, cough, headache even a low degree fever (37.4 C).. I spent most of the day in the bed.. I called the doctor and she prescribed antibiotics.. Antibiotics are GREAT! I feel so much better today.. I am still a little stuffy but fever is gone, sore throat is gone and my cough is almost gone. It was also very helpful that I slept almost 9.5 hours even though it was interrupted with kids needing to go to potty, to drink water or just to be comforted because of a bad dream.. Dan developed a fever last night also.
This afternoon I took the girls to the doctor and they got on antibiotics also, so the whole family is on Zitromax.. hopefully we'll all get better really soon and start enjoying this gorgeous weather.

Today I took Deniz to the dentist, for a check-up. And the lady cleaning her teeth told me that she also had breast cancer. She just finished her treatment in September and was so happy to get her hair back.. It is amazing how many people out there are touched with this thing..

OK, gotta go, give the girls a shower, read books and get them to bed. I am LOVING summer, it is so nice to wake up and not need to rush to get them out of the house at a certain time. We had our lunch outside on the front lawn, on our picnic blanket, it felt AWESOME..

Wishing everyone a WONDERFUL evening...

Saturdays..

Good news.. I did not have any rash this week either!! They do give me quite a bit of steroids and I do take Benadryl the night of chemo.. so I am guessing those are helping.

The cold is still going on, it will probably turn into a sinus infection, just like most of my colds end up doing.. right now I am dealing with a stuffy nose.

It is Saturday and I feel TIRED! I know I should be in peace with this fact and just allow myself not to feel guilty for spending a day basically doing nothing but it is hard. I slept for an hour earlier, but I think I need more. It is just that I couldn't bounce from chemo last week - mostly due to the cold - that I feel like I have been tired forever. And this is the EASY stuff.. we'll see how I will feel when the FEC (the other kind of chemo that I will get July - September) starts.. I have a feeling I will look back and say, what was I thinking, complaining about that time :).

In terms of side effects, the neuropathy is back, mostly sensitivity to hot water on my hands, and numbness/tingling on my fingers and toes. My mouth doesn't taste much.. some of it is because of the cold but there is an effect of the chemo also.

I usually try to NOT read about breast cancer (especially Triple Negative Breast Cancer) on the internet.. because a lot of times when I read it, it upsets me. But once in a while I cannot help myself. I look if there is anything new, any new treatments, drugs, discoveries.. So I did again today.. nothing really new. Most of the new drugs are being tested for metastatic breast cancer, which I REALLY HOPE that I will NOT need.

Hope everyone is having a great weekend - it is a three day weekend!

Oooh, I will add a picture of me from about a month ago when I was being "infused".. so you have an idea of what it is like. The recliner I am sitting has a heat function and can also do some massage (not great), basically they put a needle in my port, and give the drugs through there. If I need to go somewhere (like potty) I can push the thing that has all the drugs and the peristaltic pump attached to it with me. But mostly I sit/lay down, take it easy. Depending on who is with me, we chat, read, surf the internet or just rest..

only 1/3 of Taxol left!!

So today is an important landmark... It is my 8th dose of Taxol. That means I am two thirds of the way done.. The doctor today hoped that since my neuropathy symptoms are not too bad we can finish 12 sessions.. so keep your fingers crossed.

Right now I am hooked up to the taxol, about 15 minutes to go. I got a cold (well, Ada got it first and shared it with me :) ) since Tuesday.. no fever, but stuffy/runny nose.. So even though usually I feel much better on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, this week I was quite tired on those days also. The peripheral neuropathy was noticeable on Sunday, but it doesn't last long, a few minutes of numbness on my fingertips, or toes and then goes away.. I don't think I wrote earlier, for the last month or so my thumb and index finger that have been numb after the mastectomy, healed, they are not numb any more.. I don't know what it was... I did do a little of the exercises that the physical therapist suggested, but more than that I think that it was time that helped with the healing..

This week my dad is the lucky one to accompany me to the cancer center. The girls are at school/daycare. Tomorrow is Deniz's last day at school. And then the summer starts for them also, I better arrange those swimming lessons I was talking about.

Hope y'all are doing well.. more updates and maybe even pictures later this weekend.

Keep smiling,

PINK

Early this morning, my mommy left.. She will be back in a month - that is good to know. And my dad will be here in a few days. It will be interesting to start doing laundry, and cook and clean for a change :). I have been so spoiled, for almost 3 months now, I was a working mom who didn't have to worry about picking the kids up from school, getting dinner ready, cleaning up dishes after meals, folding and putting away clothes.. When I think back it was like a dream (OK sometimes a nightmare) that went by in a haze. We were on survival mode. Now that the school is over, and we know how to deal with Taxol, I should be more functional at home.

Right now we are at the infusion center. In the morning I dropped Dan off at work and came back to pick him up half an hour before chemo. So we drove to the hospital together. On the Highway we saw this truck - you know one of those that pull an 18-wheelers -, that was painted PINK from head to toe. On the back it had a pink ribbon with "Find a Cure" written on top. As we drove by it, I looked up to see the driver, who looked just like a macho truck driver. We looked at each other eye to eye, I gave him two thumbs up, he nodded and smiled. I am not sure if he could see my bold head, I hope he did. It was just a happy moment. I do wonder if he lost a sister, mother or wife to breast cancer. I hope not, I hope whoever it was has survived and is living a happy, purposeful life and are proud to have a brother/son/husband who is not afraid to paint his truck all pink to make a statement.
I was always curious/puzzled what purpose these differently colored ribbons would have, well now I know, they make the effected individual smile, feel supported and not alone.

Blood work came back normal, so I took the premeds and now am being infused with Taxol. Pep talk to my immune system: "WBCs! Do NOT freak out and cause a reaction, Taxol is our friend, even though it may seem like it is not, it is important to let it do its job!"

After this (probably another 45 minutes or so), we will pick Ada up from her child care and Deniz up from our friends house and go home. Deniz's class have their music program this evening, I am curious if she will actually sing.

more updates later this weekend..

Half way done!

6th Taxol is done, lay lay lom, lay lay lom (This part is Turkish, and is basically happy singing). Aaaand so far so good, no rashes.. Before giving the Taxol they loaded on the steroids, and I had to take Benadryl at night but doesn't matter, I did not develop a rash, that is the important thing. The Dr. first wanted me to take 50 mg of Benadryl, then I told her that 25 mgs made me sleep 4.5 hours last Saturday during the day, so she said 25 mgs would be alright :)

I got my juicer yesterday, we made little of carrot/apple/kiwi juice - mostly for the girls. My mom used to make carrot/apple juice when we were little, and I used to LOVE it, I still remember its taste. Ada loved it, Deniz wasn't too crazy about it. Today I bought bunch of organic veggies, cucumber, kale, carrots, celery (I do not like celery on its own, but I am hoping its juice won't stand out when mixed with others), so tomorrow morning will be my first trial..

Right now I am at work, but soon I will go out with friends from the college to celebrate the end of the semester (never mind that I still have one exam to grade, and to decide on grades for 2 classes). So for the celebration I put on my long, red hair wig. If it turns out to be too much for everyone, I always have my pink bandana in my purse :)

So I better get to work, before getting out of here. I meant to write this earlier, but Blogspot was down since yesterday, so I couldn't. Have a great weekend everyone...

a bump on the road

Last Friday morning I noticed a rash on my hands, on my chest, and on my legs.. Called the doctor.. they asked me to stop by so they could look at it. I did, they looked at my rash, and the Dr. thinks it is a reaction to Taxol :(.. She prescribed steroids, pepcid and benadryl. Said that usually they can keep these reactions under control, and that would be our goal for my case so I could complete the full 12 weeks as planned originally. Needless to say I was not too happy on Friday.. The possibility of not finishing the chemo made me upset. I had read on another BC survivors blog something like this: "having to get chemo is bad, but one thing that is worse than getting chemo is, not being able to get chemo!". I was also upset because benadryl really makes me tired and out of it.

Thankfully, after less than 12 hours of taking those medications, I woke up Saturday morning clear of the rash. Spent 4.5 hrs on Saturday sleeping/napping. Boy, that felt good! and I had no trouble falling asleep later that night. Dan and I managed to get a dinner out, in open air, with live music (thanks to my mom for taking care of the girls), and then we watched a movie when we got back home. That hadn't happened for months, and I am not joking. The good thing is that I sleep quite well with the benadryl at nights, and in the mornings, I take half dose first and the other half after noon and it doesn't make me so sleepy.

We'll see what they will do this week in terms of pre-meds.. After this Thursday I will be halfway done with Taxol, yuppie!

School is almost done. I have to prepare 2 finals, grade 3 exams, determine final grades, and then I am DONE!

Getting ready for round 5..

So today, in a few hours I will get the 5th dose of Taxol. So far so good.. not too many side effects.. a little GI problems.. hair loss.. and maybe a little peripheral neuropathy this weekend. They say that the side effects may accumulate as weeks go by, we'll see.
I have given 4 exams this week, another one tomorrow, and then 2 finals next week. A lot of grading to do, but I am not complaining. This semester despite of (or maybe because of) what happened, has been one of the best, I feel like I have connected to so many of my students. Unlike last semester I had very few days when I was not satisfied with how I delivered a lecture and I had a lot of fun in all classes that I taught. A few from the BIOl101 class have even said that they were changing their major to Biology, I am so proud. I LOVE biology and it makes me happy that at least some of my students share that passion..

Having said all of this, I am looking forward to the summer break. Clearing the house up from the junk we have managed to accumulate through years, putting together photo albums, doing some research, preparing to teach in the fall, going on short family trips, girl's birthday parties ...

Ever since the diagnosis I have been reading about how diet and lifestyle can effect your risk of getting cancer. And I have changed what I have been eating quite a bit:

1- I gave up sugar (that is added sugar, I do have a tiny piece of dark chocolate after dinner - that is my treat), so no sugar in tea, no candy, no deserts, etc...

2- minimized red meat consumption, the guidelines the nutritionist gave, allowed up to 500 g/week, but I am eating much less, most weeks none at all.

3- replaced white rice, white bread, etc. with whole grain everything,

4- I try to eat as much colorful veggies (and some fruit) as possible (it really helps that my mom is here and cooks yummy Turkish veggie dishes - I love it). Aaaand as the summer comes our garden should start producing veggies, so it will be so much fun to go out and eat directly from the plants.

now I am looking into juicing.. juicing of mostly veggies.. there is a lot to learn, but if any of you have tried it, or have opinions about it I would love to hear/read..

OK, gotta go.. papers to grade before walking to the infusion center..